2017 Training Stats

Miles Completed = 29.01
(Run/Walked = 29.01, Biked = 0.0, Elliptical = 0.0)

Countdowns!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Fear and Doubt

I still have a sick dog at home. Took her to the vet again on Friday and now we're waiting for the results of her blood work to come back. It looks like she has Valley Fever - a nasty little fungus that settles in and causes lung problems, achy joints, etc...She lost 5 pounds in two weeks and I'm now working very hard to get the pounds back on her. If the results come back positive for Valley Fever it will be a minimum of three months of pills two times a day. Hopefully, she will recover. Thankfully, the other two dogs are fine and this is not a contagious disease - she can't pass it to me or the other dogs. Poor baby just lays across my lap and sleeps whenever she can.

I put off my nine mile run on Saturday because I wasn't feeling well. Sunday about the same so I put it off again. Thought I'd go out and run my nine miles this morning. I headed out and at 3.1 miles I turned around and walked back home. I just wasn't feeling it. Nothing felt right in my pace or anything else. I'm upset with myself for not being able to finish, but I'm not completely down about it. As the race gets closer I have to listen to my body and if I'm not feeling it I'm not going to push it and get injured. I'll try again on Wednesday and see how it feels then instead.

So, the fear of course is my fear of injuring myself. I always get this way as I get close to a race. I don't want to get hurt and miss my races. I know how not to get hurt, but it's still always in my mind. I can get past this though.

Doubt...I always doubt myself and my abilities as I reach race time too. I know that I've put in some work, but not as much as I should have. I know that I can finish the race - I've done it twice with less training and injured legs. Still, there's that part in my head that makes me think I've gotten in too deep. Again, I'll get past this and move forward.

The worst part and I only have myself to blame for this. I have totally blown my diet out the window. What does this mean? It means that I'll more than likely be running this race the heaviest I've run a half marathon. That was not how this was supposed to go. I've let the stress rule me and my eating habits. I know it, I try to stop it and then I just give in. Do I feel better when I eat the extra food - no. Does it make the stress go away - no. So, why do I keep doing it? Well, if I knew the answer to that I wouldn't have the weight problems that I have. I am working on it though and I'll keep working on it.

I hope everyone else is training hard, making plans and getting ready to run the best races you can! We're getting close now and I can't wait to meet you all at WDW!!!

3 comments:

Richard said...

I hope she gets better soon. Being sick is no fun, especially for a dog.
You have so much going on in your life right now, I'm not surprised you have been up and down with your weight, it is just so tough to lose weight during stress periods, but you will get there eventually.

Matt said...

I know exactly how you are feeling. Stress eating has ruined all the progress I have made and the stress itself has kept me from running. But I know we'll both pull through, if we hang in there.

I hope your dog gets well soon!

DebWDW said...

You, Matt, Jonathan, me -- what is happening to all of us with our eating?! Let's figure out something to do to try to help each other. Thinking, thinking ...

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