2017 Training Stats

Miles Completed = 29.01
(Run/Walked = 29.01, Biked = 0.0, Elliptical = 0.0)


Thursday, October 22, 2009

Halloweens Past

So I love Halloween and thought I'd share a few of my past costumes.

Our office has always gone all out. Decorations, newspapers, stories, etc. This year probably won't see much from anyone - morale is low!

I've included some of the stories in our publications. I've done all the writing - just for fun, I'm certainly not a pro :)!

2005 - Zombies
Friday, October 28, 2005 started out as any other Friday at Cytec Engineered Materials in Tempe, Arizona—but it wouldn’t stay that way.

It was late afternoon and the Information Technology (IT) department headed out for a late lunch meeting at a nearby restaurant. Little did they know that it would be the last meal that they would enjoy (at least as humans).

Tim Kinkead, Mike Cuendet, Aaron Kyes, Orville Gore, Bob McAfoos, Dick Zimmerman, Amanda Young and Janell Maiorana were all riding in Mike’s minivan. Mike had previously injured his foot (imagine green and infected and totally disgusting) and turned the keys over to Janell to drive.

As they neared the office in the Research Park as a Mazda 6 came barreling out of the parking lot, clipped the minivan’s mirror and narrowly avoided a collision with the minivan. We now believe that the Mazda 6 that nearly crashed in to the minivan was being driven by Eddie Del Toro. Eddie was headed home on Friday afternoon and knowing that he had an unpaid speeding ticket was avoiding a run in with the police as one more offense would mean jail time. It also appears that he didn’t have a clue that his near collision set in motion a series of “deadly” events.

Based on data collected we believe that Janell was driving one handed while eating a large chocolate cookie and was forced to violently swerve the minivan to avoid the collision with the Mazda 6. This caused her to lose control and the van flipped and rolled in to the lake by the Cytec office building.

According to sources, Bob McAfoos was a relatively new contractor and he had yet to discover how important it is to wear your seatbelt when riding in a car with Janell driving. As a result, Bob was thrown from the minivan as it rolled and he hit his head and was rendered unconscious. Bob turned out to be the lucky one in this case for we now know he escaped a fate worse than death.

There were no witnesses to this horrendous accident and so we have to speculate what happened. It appears that the rest of the IT Staff was trapped—injured or dead—in the minivan as it submerged in the lake. It is assumed that Bob regained consciousness some time after the accident and had no recollection of the horrible events that had transpired as he returned home to his wife as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred.

Fast forward to Saturday, October 29, 2005. The Cytec Global Help Desk started receiving calls that users couldn’t use one of the company’s websites and this caused the Help Desk to begin calling the Tempe IT Staff in an attempt to locate someone to correct the problem. Turns out the last person they called answered—Bob was apprised of the problem and he agreed to go in to the office to investigate.

When Bob arrived at the office he thought it was strange that he was called to come in to fix the problem when the rest of the IT Staff was already there. At least he thought they were all there as their cars were in the parking lot. He assumed the problem must be worse than the Help Desk reported and he headed toward the building. As he approached the staircase he realized that something wasn’t quite right. There were what appeared to be bloody handprints on the handrails. Sensing danger Bob turned around and headed back to his car.

That’s when he saw it—something that made his blood run cold. There were people—no, not people—something much more sinister at the top of the stairs. The creatures were pounding on the doors and windows searching for a way in. Bob didn’t hang around to find out who or what these things were.

Once home Bob called the local police department and they sent a patrol car to investigate. After an extensive search, the wreckage of the minivan was found at the bottom of the lake—but the strange thing was—it was empty. The police brought in divers, but no bodies were ever recovered.

The wreckage suggests that something broke in to or out of the minivan.
A hazardous materials team was brought on to the scene and samples of the lake and surrounding areas were collected. Preliminary tests show that the water is toxic, but the toxic substance has not been identified yet.

Experts fear that the Cytec Engineered Materials IT Staff did indeed die in the car crash, but they didn’t stay that way. The experts believe that they have been re-animated and now walk the earth as the undead.

Residents of nearby housing developments have been warned to keep their pets and children inside. If anyone sees or hears anything strange they should immediately contact their local police department. Everyone is urged to maintain their distance if any of these zombies are encountered as they are quite dangerous and more than likely will be hungry and that makes them deadly.

Cytec Engineered Materials employees are being instructed to return to work on Monday, October 31, 2005 as usual. Will the IT Staff return as well? If they do return, will they be alive, dead or both?

We’ll continue to update you as more information is collected.

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2006 - Pirates
Crooked Island Oct 14, 1695
A few days outside of Cat Island the Dragon Claw docked at Crooked Island where Captain Scurvy Rickets, Carver Black Blood and Scarlett PowderKeg decided to take a few days to restock the ship and see what mischief they could get in to, little did they know that someone beat them to it. The motley crew headed towards the tavern but what they saw on the way had them drawing their weapons and preparing for battle. The town was dead, not quiet, literally all the townsfolk were dead – bodies were everwhere. Whatever happened looked like a crew of 200 pyrates had been through there. The first building they actually came to was the church and opening the doors they found a person sitting on a pile of loot like they’d only dreamed of. Had this person done all this and if not, where were the rest of them? Captain Scurvy Rickets cautiously introduced himself and the rest of the crew, the person on the loot introduced herself as Brandy Blood Bath and no one had to ask where that name came from after they learned she was on her own and that she didn’t care so much about the loot (although that’s a bonus) as she does about the kill. Captain Rickets invited Brandy Blood Bath (given name Amanda Young) to join his crew. Brandy signed the code with the blood off her cutlass and now the crew numbered four.

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2007 - Cruella de Vil
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2008 - Psycho Vanna White Job Stealer
Wheel of Misfortune!
Popular TV game show Wheel of Fortune is going in to its 27th year in prime time. In 1982, Vanna White took on the role of hostess for the show and became recognized worldwide for smiling and flipping the letters as the contestants called them out and they lit up. Vanna was said to be one of the sweetest, down to earth people on TV. Vanna didn’t miss a single show until early in 2007 when she mysteriously disappeared and the show’s producers were forced to find a quick replacement.
There was a casting call held in Tempe, Arizona (where the show was shooting on location) to find a temporary replacement hostess on March 1, 2007. One applicant stood out above the rest. She came to the casting call in full makeup including blond wig and wardrobe and wowed the producers with her ability to mimic Vanna White’s style.
On March 3, 2007, Amanda Young stepped in to fill the hole created by Vanna’s disappearance. Fans of the show quickly switched loyalty from Vanna to Amanda, as if Vanna had never been on the show.
The viewers had no idea what kind of show they had tuned in to on that fateful night a year ago today. The theme music starts and the title screen comes in to focus, but wait, it’s not the screen everyone is used to seeing. Audiences were shocked to see the death and destruction on their beloved show. It was supposed to be a Happy Halloween episode, complete with spooky decorations and creepy sound effects. Yes, we saw the decorations haphazardly strewn around the set. There were bats, pumpkins, ghosts and all the other stereotypical decorations you would expect. Then there were the parts that caused some people to seek professional counseling.
Pat Sajak was on the ground, lifeless, where he had fallen. The HAPPY HALLOWEEN letters were backlit and brought fear to watchers everywhere – behind the lighted letters were body parts.
This must be a sick joke – no one believed this scene could be real. How could this have happened? Who did this? The answer became clear as the camera slowly panned to focus on an insane, blood soaked, wild haired Amanda Young. Seems our perfect
Vanna replacement had been putting on a very good show all this time.
The network removed the offensive program as quickly as they could, but the damage was done. The world knew that Pat Sajak was dead and everyone assumed that Vanna didn’t just take an extended vacation as was reported. As the next few days passed, the scene at Wheel of Fortune was anything but normal. More body parts were found around the stage (some of them later identified as Vanna White’s), multiple weapons were recovered and phrases, words, and places were left as clues posted around the walls backstage.
In the year that has passed we now know that Amanda Young has a vendetta against game show hosts and hostesses everywhere. No one knows the real reason behind the hate, but we do know she is a master of impersonation. Game show personalities everywhere need to beware.

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Yes, I even made the letters so that it looked like the Wheel of Fortune!

2009 - Check back next week!


Chris said...

Wow, great costumes! Sorry to hear morale is so low :-( It's horrible to have to spend so much time every day somewhere where it's less than positive.... Not great where I work either, but bearable for the moment. I think people are just numb at this point.

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