2017 Training Stats

Miles Completed = 29.01
(Run/Walked = 29.01, Biked = 0.0, Elliptical = 0.0)

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Thursday, October 15, 2009

Afraid & Out of Control

Strange title for a post huh? Well, that's where I'm at right now. For some strange and unusual reason I've been afraid to run. I don't really know why, but I haven't been able to get myself out and do a real run in quite some time. The alarm goes off in the morning and I turn it off. I come home at night and find an excuse to not go out and run. It's really stupid.

Around this time last year is when I developed a stress fracture in my right shin. I know I don't want that to happen again. I think that has been part of my hesitation for sure, but I know how to make sure that doesn't happen again.

So what else could cause me to be afraid to run? Well, let's talk about the out of control part of my life. Work...I'm afraid everyday that it'll be the day that I end up being told they don't need me any more. In addition to layoffs because of the economy we're also restructuring our entire company - the plans thus far don't include my position. My boss doesn't think much of me and the powers that be don't realize what I actually do. It stinks, the not knowing.

I've actually been contemplating packing up and moving to Florida. Before my Mom passed away we were actually looking at moving to Florida and at the time I loved my job and couldn't really see giving it up...Maybe now is the time to consider that move...My only problem is my house - I'll never be able to sell it because it's in a bit of a state. I started to remodel the house, but now I'm afraid to spend the money to finish as I may need that money to live shortly.

All this stress is also causing me to eat uncontrollably. Yikes, I get up everyday and start with a good breakfast - I do okay at lunch. Then I come home from work and eat anything I can find. Ridiculous. Why is it that I know what I'm doing and still can't stop myself?

Okay, thanks for listening to me whine. Enough of this attitude. I got my butt out of bed this morning. My goal - to see if I could even run a 5K without walking. Well, guess what? I can. It wasn't speedy - 12:17 per mile, but I did it. It's a start and a step in the right direction. This weekend I'm going to have to see if I can do a 10K. If I can do I 10K I should be able to get back on track and hopefully the 1/2 marathon in January won't be so bad!

Hope everyone else is doing well!

4 comments:

MikeF. said...

I do hope things work out for you on the job front. I am experiencing kind of the same here. But just remember running is a great stress reliever. I was never as relaxed as I am now before I started running. It's just you and the road. That's it. How freaking great is that. It hears your pain and your struggles and no matter what it is always there to listen.

Richard said...

Good work on getting yourself out there and running even when you weren't quite feeling like it. It's hard, but try not to dwell too much on the things you can't control and work on the things that you have some control over. For me, dropping everything and moving to Florida is a pipe dream, but you might be closer than you realize one day.
In any event, good luck with moving forward in whatever direction life throws you.

Rae! said...

Once E was laid off the stress went away of worry and wonderment. SO now it's making needs meet. And it has not been as hard as I thought. And we are coming to Disney in Jan. It's in stone. This week I have been getting back out there, finding it to be so hard,and I feel pretty good.
I can relate 100%. We want to sell and move.But that's on hold for a while.
Anytime you need a lending ear, I am here, just text me.

DebWDW said...

Hang in there - we're all behind you. I've just been thru an eating binge too -- I really think we have an instinct in the fall to bulk up for winter! But now I'm slowly but surely getting back to serious exercise and running, and less junk food. Sounds like your run might be your first step back too.

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